UNCLE BUDDY and AUNT MARTY

My father's brother Uncle Buddy and his wife were ridiculously in love with each other!!! They had t-shirts made that said.

Want to see what a happy marriage looks like? and on the back it said LOOK AT US.

it was so cool and very inspiring. Uncle Buddy was an instructor of B52 fighter pilots stationed in Taiwan. Aunt Marty was active in helping Air Force wives deal with military life. They were an awesome team!

Both of them were very no nonsense people. Very Hayley!! Opinionated, steadfast, and decisive.

My own history with this couple was unfavorable. They had a poor opinion of me. There are reasons for that. But as we know Life is not Always Fair and some of us just allow that to be and go on with our lives the best we can under the circumstances.

On their anniversary, Uncle Bud ordered a beautiful ring for Aunt Marty. Aunt Marty was thrilled but as she started to get in their car to leave the jewelers, Aunt Marty had a (heart attack?, stroke?) I am unsure of the facts. Uncle Bud drove her to the hospital right away, yelling all the way "Don't you die on me! Don't you die on me?". Aunt Mardy passed away.

Since then Uncle Bud has remarried and is still living in Texas. If you look at our family tree. Uncle Buddy is the son of Claude William Hayley Sr. and Etta Mae Dikes and his name is Forrest Lee Hayley. Funny I just thought of it, unless you do the research it would be difficult for someone to figure out our tree because no one uses their "birth certificate" names. LOL

Trophy Girl

1950's San Jose California but actually I think this picture was taken at the Alviso Speedway. The camera is pointed east and the hills in the background are the Milpitas hills.
What I remember of this day. I was allowed to wear my tap shoes to the track. I was allowed to sit in the front seat of the brand new car (seen in background). My dad drove me out to the field after the heat. This gentleman is not my dad, he is the winner of the heats. Before the actual races begun. The heats were to set order of the hard top cars before the "main event". I was prompted to give the man a kiss (?!?) He was not my dad nor any of the drivers I knew. He was sweaty and I did not want to kiss him. I actually have other pictures of me as trophy girl. I even think Aunt Helen was trophy girl a couple of times. I should try to find those photos!!!

I bet her kids would get a kick out of that!

Aunt Doris, my mom, Aunt Helen and myself had our turns as Trophy Girls. We went to the field (pit)and presented the trophy, gave the winner a kiss, and had our pictures taken by the speedway professional photographer!

The photographer would take pictures all night long and sell them after the races. The next week we kids would go down and see if there were any pictures left over for the previous week and he would give us his throw aways.

Another thing I remembered about the races. If my grandmother was not available my parents took all four children to the races. The races were loud and always very long into the night. So I would make myself a bed on the bench of the grandstands. The grandstands were open and did not have sides. I remember getting very sleepy. I would lie down and wrap my arms around the bench and pray I did not fall through the benches if I was to roll in my sleep. I never did roll off. For which I am very grateful.
One thing that did happen often was women would drop their sweaters or purses under the grandstands. They would call to my brothers to go under the stands to fetch whatever they had dropped.

As I locate more pictures of the speedway, I have many stories to share about the speedway. I am positive my brother has even more stories to share. I will try to encourage him to share them with me so I can add them to OUR FAMILY HISTORY.

Until next time, Aunt Ruth

Sentimental Sunday----My Parent's Anniversary

I write my blog for my family. I am, to the best of my ability, trying to record my memories from my perspective, my resources, and cite any documents, photos, or published works that support my data. As I continue my recording and piecing together our family history, I have joined several genealogy groups, sites, societies etc. Besides being excellent resources for information, encouragement to continue what is turning out to be rather challenging work, there is also great ideas to inspire to "write" my families story. Sunday was my parent's wedding anniversary. Although a day late----I am having a Sentimental Sunday on Monday Morning.

Here is Thomas MacEntree's suggestion for blogging:

Don't forget that today is Sentimental Sunday. If you have your own genealogy or family history related blog, you can participate in Sentimental Sunday. What is it?

Sentimental Sunday is a daily blogging theme used by many genealogy bloggers to help them post content on their sites.

To participate in Sentimental Sunday, simply create a post in which you discuss a sentimental story or memory about an ancestor, or maybe even a family tradition that touches you. You can read more about Sentimental Sunday here at gene@pedia.

My parent's anniversary was usually a special time of year. What made it so special was as a child it worked as a meter to understanding the family dynamics on any given year. Like most marriages my parents had high points, low points, and just in the middle points. But if the planets aligned, finances were solid, and family dramatics were not sucking the blood out of their veins, my parents would celebrate their wedding anniversary. Although each year added more surprises there was always a cometary about the celebration. A little background first:

My mother liked everything Oriental :(I use that word today because it was the word used in our household) Mom's favorite color was red. When my parents remodeled their bedroom, they did it in black lacquered furniture and a light switch plate that spelt Love in Chinese. Mom would say Japanese was her favorite everything:: although over 80% of her decorations were Chinese inspired.

Suzie Wong

was one of mom's favorite movies.
We lived very close to San Fransisco.
At the end of January, Grant Ave, San Francisco displayed one of the largest Chinese New Year's Parade in America.

My parents anniversary was many times celebrated at the Chinese New Year's Parade in San Francisco. To accommodate the working class, the holiday was always celebrated on a Saturday. My parents would leave early in the day and spend the day wondering all the shops on Grant Ave. I know this because more than once (not on an anniversary) I would wonder those same shops with my parents. Mother would be looking for interior decoration inspiration. Also presents would be purchased for all of us kids. In particular my present often was dried coconut candy covered in crystallized sugar and clam shells when opened in a glass of water that would open and display small tissue flowers that would unfold and expand upwards and wave in the water. Always a big favorite! I think the boys received firecrackers but my parents were very strict. The girls must not know about the firecrackers and they were to be lit in the confines of our huge backyard only after the girls (that means my sister and myself) were fast asleep. Sometimes "the girls" would find evidence the next morning in the form of ashes and bits of red tissue paper.

My parents had a favorite restaurant in Chinatown that they frequented each year during the early years. But later Dad employed a man, Mao, a very sweet hard working man. Mao respected my dad a great deal so in about 1968, my parents anniversary took on an evolution in that they were invited to spend the new years with Mao and his family each Chinese celebrated New Year's Day. Mao's home faced Grant Ave and they would sit on a balcony and watch the parade below. Dad and Mom would enjoy a special home-prepared feast and great company. Although the elders and even Mao and his wife had difficulty with the language barrier, the younger generations, seeing mom and dad there each year, helped mom and dad learn the traditions and culture. Mom and Dad just became one of the family. The friendship grew, Mao and his family often went to the lake after Dad retired. When Mom's or dad's health did not allow them to make the festivities, Mao would pack up his car and bring the special feast to mom and dad to the lake.

One year Mom and Dad came home so excited!!! Dad had taken Mom to a dressmaker and they were making Mom a dress like "Suzie Wong's" Rich silk, form fitting, frog attached collar and all. But there was a month of excitement and joy until Mom and Dad returned the next month to pick up the dress. I think it cost the un-godly much of 100 dollars to be made!!! it was definitely a reason to celebrate and honor such a dress. Later, I think granddaughters wore the dress if nothing else than to model for my parents and bring tears to their eyes in remembrance of a special time.

On January 17, 2010 I noticed on the church bulletin that no one had volunteered for the flowers for January 24, 2010. I approached the minister after the service and requested to bring flowers in honor of my parents wedding anniversary. I prepared a huge bouquet of 3 dozen long stem roses of yellow (mom's favorite flower), pink, and white roses in a huge vase. It had to be large enough to be seen from the pulpit. Several of the women knew why I made the bouquet and ohhhhed and ahhhhed over the display of roses.

Dear Family, Did any of you meet Mao at Dad's shop or at the lake??? Does anyone remember the heirloom dress or it's whereabouts now??? Did any of you go on those all day shopping trips with Mom and Dad through every shop on Grant Ave and the back alley shops??? I would love to hear your experiences.

Love Aunt Ruth